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“I don’t really feel comfortable with that,” he answered as he looked intently at the wall. I could feel the warmth as it spread through my cheeks. His words felt as if they had taken form, lashing out and striking me, creating a hot sting. I sat up on the bed and pulled the sheets up around me, covering my vulnerability. I stared at his back waiting for him to bring the fullness of the truth to light. “I don’t want to lead you on,” he said to the wall, “I don’t want you to think that we are a couple.” The truth was, that I knew we were not a couple. The truth was, that what we shared was the past. Oh, but how I wanted to live the lie, if only for a night. I struggled to fight back my sobs as I searched for the right words to say. Finally, I mustered up what little dignity I had left and asked, “How can you say that you don’t feel comfortable letting me spend the night, but yet you felt comfortable enough to have sex with me?” He turned his head, looking at me out of the corner of. I thought of mounting you and having sex but it didn't work. I tried, oh how I tried but I just couldn't. When you became hard I just felt sick. It's not you, it's me, inside, I'm hopeless! It's nevergoing to work. I so want your baby!" "And I want you to have it," replied Steve. Vicky's hand shook as she poured herself another coffee then held out the shaking pot to Steve. He gently steadied her trembling wrist with one hand as heheld the mug out with his other. Vicky's heart thumped as she felt his delicate tender touch. "Yes please," he replied as he held out the mug. It was the first act of normality since she had joined him at the table and Vicky felt the tension inside her releasing. The conversation was becoming lesstense. She felt she was on safer ground. She still felt overwhelming guilt of course but things were becoming more rational, more productive. "We could try insemination. The gynea says I'm fully able to conceive." "That seems a bit cold and.
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