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"The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."(I love this part) The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."This one is compliments of kilocyclesExcuse meA man enters a hotel lobby. As he runs to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman and as he does,. “Do you have a girlfriend?” “No,” I stammered. “I really have not seen anyone since my wife left, and …” I stopped speaking because Mikey had shifted closer to me on the sofa and had put her hand on my thigh. She said softly, “Would you mind a girlfriend for the next hour or so while the system is filling?” Before I could answer, she leaned over and kissed me very softly on my lips. I was dumbfounded, but she looked straight into my eyes and said: “It’s okay. I find you very attractive, you are about my age and I can tell you are a gentleman. Most of the time, it’s women who are at home when I arrive during the day. When a man does answer the door, he often either hits on me immediately or says something sexually insulting within the first ten minutes. You are different. “I will be honest. I am in a really lousy marriage and would like some male company that doesn’t include hitting and hurting.” I could sense Mikey was about to weep, but she got it together and said softly,.
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