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"I am so sorry for what I did yesterday. I did not think of us, I thought only of myself. I did not even realize what I had done to you until later, after we went home. I have no excuse; I was a fool. I was thinking only about the sex, and not about what my actions were doing to you."I love you, and I would never want to do anything to hurt you. I know now that I have hurt you deeply. I am scared to death that this could mean the end of us; I don't think I can go on without you. I am here, like this, to accept your punishment. I offer myself to whatever you want to do to me. I only hope that I can atone for the way I hurt you and that you can learn to trust me once more. I will understand if you cannot bring yourself to forgive me."I sat, saying nothing for a moment. In truth, I had planned to have a long discussion with her about the day's events, more from my fear that she was tending to submit too easily to sexual situations. I had been concerned that she could one day find herself. I had five of the implements to peen and stone and two that needed repairs to the snath (handle). We would be needing them shortly to lay in hay and fodder for the winter. JC stood next to me, uncharacteristically quiet, until I looked at him inquiringly."Jeb, I think I'm in love with Anne and she says she loves me too. It is the damnedest thing, because I can't recall ever feeling about a woman this way. I can't think when I'm around her. She tells me something and even if it is a thing I wouldn't ever do, I find my head nodding up and down as if it was the best idea I ever heard. I'm going to ask her to marry me." This is a good thing JC only if you are not going to be chasing around and gambling as you did in Richmond. Anne is an adult and can make up her own mind but she and the girls are family to me."JC grinned ruefully. "Them days are over Jeb, word of honor. For some reason Anne makes me not even think about such as that. One thing though, when we move west I ain't sod.
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