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“Greg, I’m right here!” Kimmy Granger laughed. She was sitting right next to me. She had a lot of lox on her plate. Probably more than was fair to take but that was Kimmy, a taker.I smiled as best I could although as I was smiling I realized I couldn’t remember if I had brushed my teeth or not that morning so I tried to smile without teeth although that was kind of hard because I have a slight overbite situation, which I am, of course, extremely self conscious about because overbites are ugly.“I, uh, threw up this morning so I don’t think I should eat dairy. And who wants, um, a bagel without some kind of spread?” I sounded so stupid.Kimmy’s jaw dropped.“Greg, ew! Also I think there’s some kind of vegan spread but ew to that as well.” Kimmy shoved smoked salmon into her mouth. The smoked salmon was the color that I assumed Kimmy’s vagina was. Maybe her vagina kind of smelled like the smoked salmon as well. I wondered if Kimmy ate so much smoked salmon that all of her holes tasted like. One time as I was coming back from the trail, I thought I saw Meghan give Rachel a kiss on the lips! One afternoon, I crashed on the couch in the common room while Rachel went to check out the farmers markets and the guys were swimming at the lake. I thought Meghan is with Rachel so I decided to take a nap. With my eyes closed, I feel someone unbuttoning my shirt. A pair of soft lips starts kissing my stomach, up my body and begins sucking on my nipples. I figured Rachel was back and is giving me a nice wake up surprise. Before I fully open my eyes, I take her head and plant a kiss on her and she jumps on me, holding me tight right up against her but then I realized, it wasnt Rachel. It was Meghan! Whoaaa! Meghan, what are you doing? Wheres Rachel? I yelled. Rachels at the farmers market, says Meghan. I decided to stay back to keep you company. She wont be back for an hour. No, Rachel is my girlfriend. I like Rachel. This is wrong! Whats so wrong about it? she asks. You clearly.
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