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" That sounds disgusting," Mom wailed. "I feel so guilty." She started sobbing and said, "My marriage is ruined. Your father will divorce me if he finds out." She continued, "I have never cheated on him before and now I've done it twice and even worse, with my nephew and my son."I went over to her and held her till she was pretty much cried out, while I tried to reassure her that things would be ok.She asked, "How can you be so cool with having sex with your own mother?"I said, "It was great Mom. Better than some of the college girls I've screwed. Besides, you gave me one of the best blow jobs ever, considering this was your first one. And Tim and I would never say anything to hurt you or Dad."Mom was holding me real tight and still sobbing a little, while telling me she did remember what happened."I should have stopped it at the beginning, at the movies, but Dad hasn't been very loving in a long time." She went on, "I feel so lonely and, and unattractive, and, and vulnerable."She. I think that the Southern Europeans call emotional distractions like that “the Thunderbolt.” Feelings are curious things. Most men, I believe, share a dominant reliance on the conclusion resulting from the analysis of the nuts and bolts representing a bucketful of facts. We mentally sort the bolts and screws according to length, girth, head size, thread pitch, etc. Now, I confess that at best I have a poor perspective on feelings, and don’t understand them most of the time. Nevertheless, I realize that feelings are actually the nuts that fit the machine screws and bolts in the bucket. I simply have a hard time seeing how they thread together, but I know that no mechanism can work unless both the nuts and the bolts are securely fastened together with the appropriate tension. All that said, I suppose that I earned the bruise on the wrist by not fully understanding the systems that were at play in me—in effect, not having tightly connected the bolt with the nut. After a night of.
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