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I nodded and smiled, it was nice to see her above all else. “Your present will arrive later, I promise” she said. I wondered what it was, it was either unable to get to the party for some reason or worse, Zoe was waiting for the opportunity to present it to me. I tried to forget about it and walked into the veranda where we spoke and waited for the other guests. During the night Kylie and Zoe were very talkative, I saw how they were together and it made me happy. Kylie didn’t really know anyone so while I spent time with my friends she and Zoe exchanged words. I continued to wonder what Zoe was planning, she didn’t at all seem distracted or nervous. I doubted she would do anything to ruin my night like try to make a physical move on me in front of Kylie. But I was still cautious nonetheless. When Zoe was alone I approached her for answers, “What’s going on?” I said calmly. Zoe placed her hand on my shoulder and looked over at me, “Nothing, just relax” she responded. I was still. I couldn't help it. I had to masturbate, and I couldn't help thinking about making love with him, imagining him on me and in me. I had a tremendous orgasm but afterwards cried some more because masturbation is so lonely.I don't know what's going to happen or how it's going to end. If I let him nurse again, I won't be able to stop. I'm afraid of what might happen if we do go all the way, and afraid of what might happen if we don't.March 24 I'm still in a quandary, but describing this to you, Dear Diary, is cathartic for me. It externalizes all this a bit and gives me some distance from it so I can think more clearly. Thanks for being here. You're keeping me sane.Dave has been pestering me to nurse again, and I've been refusing, but today he switched tactics. He said I at least had to keep my promise to show him what girls are like. I said we did that already, but he said that was only half. Now he needed to see the other half. When I told him this whole thing had gone too far, he.
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