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“I hope you get some answers. You must be very worried. God bless you.”I realised it was too late to do anything more and with a heavy heart I made my way to bed. I shut the wardrobe doors and the drawers. It felt as if I was shutting her out of my life, but I just wanted the room to feel ‘normal’ and hide their emptiness.As I lay there, for a long time my mind raced on a circuit, with a multitude of thoughts about how to find her, and whether she had gone with that priest, so I did not sleep for a long time.MondayIn a strange room, a strange bed, say in a hotel, there is a moment, only a brief moment, when on awakening everything is in the wrong place and one wonders where one is, and then the memories flood back. In one’s own bed the process is the reverse. I awoke to the feeling that all was normal in my life, but it was only for a brief moment. Then I realised the place next to me was cold and empty: Sally wasn’t there. She had gone and I was alone in the king size bed. Almost. Give it a couple of years – and there’ll be fewer questions asked about your swollen belly than there would now.”See, I’m still trying to be the parent here, not just Lindy’s real life dildo and sexual fantasy.I continued in this role after we got up, when I put the second morning-after pill beside her breakfast juice, and watched while she took it. I had already rescued the box of condoms from the bin, where she’d thrown it, and I was determined to use them and not rely just on her diaphragm. In fact I wanted to persuade her to have an IUD fitted as well.“How long do we have now?” she asked, after she’d swallowed the pill.“How long?”“Yes, because I want to keep fucking until I know these pills have worked and I have to start using that diaphragm.”“I don’t know. It isn’t as though I’ve ever had anything to do with emergency contraception. What does it say on the leaflet in the box?”She shrugged. “I don’t know. I threw it away.”“Well, we’d better work on the better-safe-than-sorry.
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