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Mother Gaia was very different from my mom. Mother Gaia had a more subtle mix of caring and love. Oh, you can feel it there, but you'll always know that it was just maternal instincts and that she had more important things to do or talk about rather than holding you and rubbing you kindly.But Mother Gaia helped me in a lot of ways. When I was sad from my mom's death, she was there and although she did nothing, she stood there listening to me whining about the unfairness of it all. Sometimes I would ask her questions, and she would reply with images that form descriptions of which I had to translate myself.My shrink told me it was just me desiring a mother figure after losing my mom. He told me that it was all simply my subconscious splitting a part of myself to converse with the main personality. It all sounded rather weird to me, but I followed his suggestion of recording each minor details of the dreams in a little book I called 'dream diary'. Some of the dreams were forgotten as. And that means giving me freedom. Freedom that in the end pushes you away. Now, a couple of days after Prom, Jennifer drops the bomb on me. I get upset. I realize that I’ve been an idiot and, as my dad said, had put too much faith in Jennifer and based too many plans on her. Part of that realization is that I’ve had my perfect girl right next to me for months.“Of course, then I made a major mistake and confided in my little sister that I intended to pick one of you and begin the path towards marriage. It’ll take all of college, but I was going to make a choice. I had, in my mind, settled on a choice. I didn’t tell her, but she guessed correctly. The thing is, WHO I was choosing wasn’t nearly as important as the fact that I WAS choosing.“As we all know, Stephanie freaked out. She didn’t want Jennifer to lose. Her solution was to call Karin and tell her that if she didn’t come to the US, she wouldn’t have a chance because I was going to pick you, and that would mean Karin had no.
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