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She found Jim leaning against the wall, sheltering from the shower that was gaining in force, water splashing off the cobbled streets onto her legs. Sandals, she decided, looked a little out of place. They kissed timidly, providing the reassurance that Lauren needed, and indicating that their parting embrace in the park had left Jim wanting more just as she did. He looked at her and smiled, noting that she had chosen to wear a pale blue summer dress with a floral pattern, trimmed with lace around the hem, giving a picture of healthy innocence as the dress swirled out from her shapely legs when she turned. They walked together under the umbrella, away from the station and up the deserted main shopping street, gazing in windows and chatting about what they would buy if they had the money. Lauren relaxed noticeably, surprised again that walking and talking with a boy was so simple, and all those first lines and wise remarks that she had rehearsed so often in her mind (and in front of the. I had a ton of them.I knew that sex between human beings was obviously intended by Nature for something beyond the begetting of children; but, on the other hand, I couldn't decide exactly what. If it was supposed to be an expression of love, then why did I experience such fear and pain when my husband was putting it to me? I knew that as a normal woman and a devoted wife I should look forward to and enjoy sex with my mate. Yet, with each passing day I dreaded it more.Maybe, it occurred to me, I really wasn't the person I assumed I was.All of a sudden the normality I had always taken for granted was under siege. Self-doubt started to consume me on the spot like a flame licking up a piece of dry parchment."No... no, ' I tried to verbally rein myself under control. "I'm a good person. A devoted housewife. After all, I cook for Fred. I'm a good mother to his children. Keep the house clean. Don't go over my grocery budget. What more could a man want?" Unfortunately, the answer to that.
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