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" What was wrong with you?' I asked. "Are you all right now?"She averted my eyes and turned to go to the bedroom. "Well, I was just real real... sick, Speedy."My stepdad held her arm as she slowly and haltingly made her way into the hallway and the bedroom. He completely ignored me, which was exactly what I would have expected. I watched my mother struggle into their bedroom, bracing herself against a door or a wall as Tony guided her past the framed portraits of the Virgin and the Sacred Heart and Saint Jude in the hallway. I watched her getting farther and farther away from me. Farther than ever. I sensed her pain. I shared her loss. And I felt a distance that I had little hope of breaching again.Later in my room and I heard the two of them talking in hushed tones. Mom was crying softly.My stepdad spoke in a consoling manner I'd never heard him use. "His soul will be protected, I know it will," he said."But, Tony, I was unconscious," my mother softly cried. "No one knew to baptize. I just expanded my old trap. You know, the one I use for, well, never mind. There are sixteen notches on my belt. See? Tell me that rat sandwich story again, please Caitlin?’ she begged.’ ‘Oh, OK. I got the idea of culinary delights from one of my teen angel experiences. My first real boyfriend was like 16 and I was 15. He had a car and when he picked me up he would never come to the door, just beep in the driveway. The only place this dude ever took me was on a ride down some deserted road where he would feel my tits and whine until I jerked him off. ‘When this asshole dropped me off at home he would order me to go make him a sandwich. ‘What, am I your waitress and fucking slave?’ I spat at him as I got out of his car on our final date. I simply had enough of this crap but I did make him one last sandwich, with Alpo. You should have seen the look on his face as he chewed up that first bite. It was worth the smack he gave me that ended our relationship. ‘The dude never would have.
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