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We passed the park boundary and the trail narrowed. Bushes brushed my bare legs, wetting them. My heart shifted gears as we got close to the pavilion. To calm my wanton thoughts I considered how I would handle this. I could approach it two ways. Either take control in an essentially receptive role, submitting on my terms to get what I want, or just surrender and let it play out. The act is not the issue. The issue is control. I offer my body to be used, certainly, but not to be abused. I share myself for mutual pleasure. I know how to submit without surrendering. I learned from mistakes. Lacking experience, drunk, and in a highly debauched state of mind my first time, I made the mistake of totally submitting to an older man who abused me. I resolved to never allow a man to abuse me again. I decided I would do baby-faced George first. He said that he has never pegged a guy and wasn’t sure he could. I guess wanted to make a man of him. I knew he would need guidance. We arrived at. .begging Ryan to stop. I felt so bad for Scott, it wasnt his fault...and yet...this was interesting that it ended up that Ryan really thought that Scott had ****d ME!! (not that I ****d Scott!!) So, I let the game continue. I kept playing asleep and Ryan kept teasing Scott about "fucking" me all night. Ryan finally went in to shower and Scott sat on the edge of the bed. I acted like I was just waking up. He looked at me "dont hate me! please dont hate me!"...I said "I could NEVER hate you dude, NEVER, no matter what!". He said "I dont know how this happened" and tried to explain it as he was d**gged or something cuz he would NEVER do this! After a bit of him appologizing... I said "hey...it was more than half my fault...really...cuz once you kissed me... I kissed back...cuz I liked it...and thats how it happend". He, still in disbelief, kept appologizing. I said "fortet it" its a secret betwen you me and Ryan. We just have to keep Ryan from saying anything to anyone.
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