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" Seven months in a small sailing cruiser? Learning to sail, manage the boat, from scratch? Standing watches on your own? Cooking in a tiny galley at sea in a constantly moving boat ... I'd say I knew all I needed to know." I ... went with men ... before Rosa took me in ... for money. There. I didn't tell you that before." I don't care." I thought I would get to UK and leave you. I was just going to use you." But? You could have said you'd marry me and still left." No, I couldn't, because ... sometime along the way I saw what a good person you are ... and I fell in love with you. I couldn't ... I couldn't do that to you." Sit on my lap, Kelly." When she didn't move, I added some emphasis again. "Sit on my lap, Kelly."Reluctantly she settled stiffly on my lap and I wrapped my arms round her. I whispered in her ear, aware again of her scent – womanly, intoxicating to me. "I love you. I want you. I need you. We don't have to settle this now. Let's get home, okay?"She relaxed then and I. I needed real life women to think and masturbate upon. Masturbating on celebrities was stupid fantasy. Masturbating on women whom I had met and who knew me was a precursor to reality. There was even a ray of hope it could happen in reality and I would be prepared for it.The first time I undertook this endeavor, I thought about my beautiful English teacher in my primary school. But I wasn’t satisfied. I had to imagine in my mind, the naked body of my English teacher whom I had seen years ago and through the innocent eyes of a kid. Obviously, I didn’t remember much. I needed someone else.I then remembered some of my friends’ mothers I had met. They were very pretty and fit perfectly into the kind of women I was fascinated with. But they too couldn’t satisfy me. I ran into the same problem, that of knowing too less about their bodies as I had met them only once or twice.Time passed by and and the much awaited break came. I was excited I would meet my mother and get to taste the.
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