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She remembers looking around, finally saying "I'm sorry" while she tried to get out of the circle without touching anyone, one "I'm sorry" to each person she came to, each person she bumped against. Finally making it to the hall, where there weren't any people, then to the bathroom, shutting the door, locking it, sitting on the toilet, putting her face in her hands and rocking forward and back, because she knew that with five words she had destroyed her world.It can't have been long before the knocking started.Poor Margaret, sitting on the pot in a freezing bathroom in someone else's house, knowing what would happen — not every step but the terrible, long course. Thousands, millions of people have shared the experience, but she did not feel part of a community. Poor Margaret, trembling and wiping her face with her palms, first the left side, then the right, then the left. How much of the trembling was shivering? I can't face him. I can't watch him despise me. By now, Anthony would be. He said he wanted to keep monitoring me for the next 2 or 3 years or possibly longer because, given my medical history, I would need to be more careful about my calorie intake and my vitamin and mineral intake than the average teenager. And he wanted to watch for signs to make sure I didn’t do long term damage to my organs when I starved myself. That would suck so I hope that didn’t happen.I feel bad that I will have to go through all of that but I feel good that someone cares about me enough that he wants to make sure I grow up fit and healthy. I mean, I know he’s a doctor and he gets paid for it and he has the bedside manner of a turnip but still he’s trying to help me and that’s good.Bec seemed a little happier today than she did yesterday but she still seems depressed. I don’t know why. We had lunch and then we had our class. I had more worksheets to do in math and science and English. Bec did her math and then finished reading her book and started the book report she has to.
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