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I had a slab poured near the second barn sized for a two bedroom pre-fabricated house with an attached garage. I made certain that it was a high-end model, not trash that would fall apart in five years. I had it furnished, the kitchen supplied and appropriate linens purchased for the place.I advertised for a younger farmer that had unfortunately trusted a bank yet still wanted to farm. I had a list of eleven candidates. When I showed them around most gave it up as a bad job. They just wanted to sit on a tractor. I had two men left to choose between. I showed them the list of tasks that I planned to finish within the next two years, such as replacing the barbed wire fence with a riven wood, or split rail, fence; re-planting the coppice woods, erecting and setting up a traditional early American barn and getting the orchards operational. Only one of them wanted to get in there and get his hands dirty—Mark Sturm. He wasn't adverse to a few head of pigs either, and stated that "If I. In my vanilla life I am a decision maker and a driver and impatient to get things done. When I have decided on something I go for it. Bridging this gap is something I am still learning. I have to remind myself as his sub that it is not about me. As his sub I must learn to be patient and wait until He tells me to do something. For example I would like to have some Ben wa balls so that I can train my vaginal muscles to be tight despite all the stretching they regularly endure. The vanilla me wants to rush out and buy some and start using them. As a sub I have to learn to be patient and wait. He will decide if and when I get them - and if and when I am to wear them for his pleasure. It is not about me. Being a Master carries responsibility and thought. This must be demanding and I can imagine that He needs a break sometimes. If I wish for attention and my Master is tired or busy or simply not in the mood I am learning to hold back from demanding from him and remind myself: It is not.
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