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"I bought this kit for a hundred dollars. An ankle brace, ice packs, elastic ankle wrap, and bands to strengthen the ankle. Plus a cheap folding pair of crutches. You have to be prepared you know. Once you've had one ankle sprain you are at a much higher risk to do it again. My doctor recommended I have one of these kits at the ready. Especially when skiing or engaging in other activities where that part of my body is susceptible to injury. Didn't you see how much attention I paid to the binds on my skis? I did the safety check to make sure the adjustments were appropriate and the springs inside the binding mechanisms were properly cycled to encourage predictable release loads." Yes, and I also noticed you slip your hand down your pants. I thought you were just playing with yourself again, Emily." I laughed and then screamed, "Now don't make me laugh, it just hurts more!" I had a wedgy. We have to ice your ankle for about fifteen minutes, Annie." She applied the ice. But before the. . f... f... forty... *Wheeze* forty-five... *pant* mih... mih... *Gasp* minutessss... uuuuuuuoooooooohh..." She breathed her last breath. Another casualty at Domino's Pizza.I slammed down the phone, resigned to my fate. I checked my watch. It had been thirty minutes since I called that dominatrix to come over. Where could she be? My uncle had recently passed away and, leaving no will, he was an intestate and required a dominatrix to administer his property."Wait a minute," I thought, "Wouldn't an administratrix be granted letters of administration in such a case? Why, in that case, what is a 'dominatrix,' and what does she do? And why am I out of root beer?"Curious, I logged on to the Internet and typed "dominatrix". What I found was disturbing, to say the least. Perhaps it was not too late to cancel the appointment, but at that moment, I had bigger things on my mind. Like buying more root beer. I decided that when she came, I would just have to tell her that I was not intending to.
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