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Both sent from his personal email - not his secret email. I pointed that out the following afternoon. He said not to worry, he'd deleted the messages from his sent file.Silly me. I assumed he meant the email account's sent file - not just the one on his phone. I should have known better.As I suspected, his wife had wormed her way into his email online, and is checking it regularly. Of course she sees those messages to me. Of course all hell breaks loose, yet again. I hadn't seen the messages until much later, and so I hadn't responded to them, but it's bad enough without that technicality.He says he needs to go dark. I agree. I delete and block him from my chat program.*****Losing Patrick like this has been difficult. I'm so used to having him to talk to that not having him there is a huge hole in my day.I'd be flat-out lying if I didn't acknowledge that the funk I've been in for the past month isn't, in large part, due to this relationship ending. I know I've been mourning the loss. We kiss and then we kiss more. I had forgotten how much I liked being kissed and kissing back. I want to keep kissing but he breaks free of my mouth to slide his face downward. I hate having my neck tickled and, when his lips slide over that tender skin, squirm as far away as the ropes allow. I want to tell him to stop. I would but he keeps moving down and the tickling ends before I have to speak. As his lips pass my collarbone, I am glad that I did not object. It’s his hour. It would be unfair for me to object to anything reasonable. We both understand that that is the real gift that I’m giving him: that I will not object unless he does something that I can not tolerate. And I can tolerate having my neck kissed for a second. Not for much longer than that, but for that one second, okay.I have never understood any man’s fascination with a woman’s breasts. They’re just little sacks of skin filled with fat and glands, no different than any other bit of skin on the body. Except after the.
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