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If this joint served a decent shot of Tequila, this had to be the place that good cowboys went after their last round-up.Music was playing, although the stage was empty except for some instruments resting on stands. The music seemed to be coming from every direction, but was not loud enough to preclude conversation. A few brave couples were on the dance floor, performing some intricate looking reel, but most folks were sitting at the tables, drinking colorful frothy drinks and talking a mile a minute. I was still trying to identify the source of the music as the women led the way to an empty table not far from the stage and off to the side of the dance floor.I was fascinated that so many women were there and that they were patrons instead of workers. I did not judge the women negatively because they were in a saloon. As I thought about it, I realized that the situation made perfect sense in a time when women had the same rights as men. Before I could ask Sonja about it, the band. My husband still had a temper but I just began working extra hard to make sure his normal triggers weren't there. It was a constant battle. And maybe in my euphoria I began to ignore his outbursts.Then one day I stumbled into the chat room portion of the site that my husband had suggested. I made up a screen name and posted a few times. I didn't tell him that I had found the section or that I had posted. One day while I was out he discovered my postings and when I returned he screamed at me. What else had I kept from him? What was I doing? I was doing nothing but posting a few arbitrary things and corresponding with an author whose stories I particularly liked, nothing more. But that wasn't enough. He was so enraged that I had kept something from him that he stormed into our basement and began throwing things.I was crying he was fuming and I thought for sure that he was planning to leave. I was feeling like even though I was trying my hardest it was never enough. A small part of me.
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