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I couldsee my first kiss with a boy, taken on a dare from the other kids at aparty. I could even see my first period and mom?s happiness. It allcame back. I remembered everything.Mom removed her hand and told me it was done. I looked up at her andcried, hugging her close. She was going to have to endure a lot morethan I had to endure- she had the memories of two lives flooding hermind.Sela rang the doorbell and I let her in. She was wearing a matchingoutfit which made us both giggle. She planned it perfectly, she knew howI was about school and wanted as little fuss as possible. I loved herfor that, she thought more of me than I could of her. She was a truefriend.Mom drove us to school. Sela kept talking the whole time to keep me fromthinking about anything else but school. She thought my distanceyesterday was that I was still reeling from, "Dad? leaving and didn?twant me to dwell on it.At school Sela and I sat down at a table outside to wait for the bell.Other girls in our class. I shuffled nervously, not able to move without doing something rejective like easing her away, but not ready to do whatever this inexperienced girl had in mind - if she had anything particular in mind, it wasn’t clear.Over the next few seconds, purely from past repetition, I allowed myself to consider the possibility that this stunning girl fancied me. But, I realised, if so she had no idea how to proceed. She had confidence at some levels – basically knowing that she’s attractive – but not at the level of getting something started with someone. With Lisa Simone had been passive, of course, and had simply let the older woman seduce her.I’m not like Lisa though. It was all a bit ridiculous.It dawned on me that in principle I did want to get started with this girl, if either of us could just make the first little step. She is gorgeous; I liked her; I’d seen how ready she was; and Lisa had set the precedent, had she not?I grinned at the absurdity of it: thirty-nine-year-old me and a teen.
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