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I looked hot and felt like such a whore. I placed a CL add and played on the local Adult Connecter for a couple of hours and made a bunch of guys cum over the phone stroking myself as I played. I didn’t really meet anyone who was both able and serious about coming over to fuck me in my room. I came once while I role-played with a guy as “his wife’s lesbian r****t and golden shower giver.” I also listened to a hot guy’s homoerotic experiences. I got him to give me his number, but he had other plans. I decided I’d have to go out to get satisfaction. Unfortunately it was a Tuesday. I waited until after 8 o’clock and went out only to find a miniscule of action. The places were ok, but nobody was as horny as I was that Tuesday. All I had done was sucked a couple of cocks and walked through the park to see a few boy-toys teasing and closet bi’s playing together. I saw a couple of guys fucking, but not much real action. I was disappointed as I parked my car at the motel. I decided I should. I still felt the same pain in my heart as before, the only difference was now Hope knew that I knew and would probably be more careful in the future. Call me what you want but I still can’t imagine a life without Hope and Brandy. It takes a strong man to admit to himself and to others, his true place in the world. My best friend at work was now saying ‘Hello Cuck’ when he greeted me. My father kept phoning me at work asking when I was having divorce papers served. Even my female coworker friend that offered to be there for me was showing up in my office a couple times a day, always smiling. Hope wasn’t speaking to me either. We slept in the same bed but never touched. Everywhere else we were together, but apart. I loved her but I couldn’t tell what she felt for me. The pain inside was getting intolerable, I had to do something to get back to normal, but what? Hope finally spoke to me on Thursday but it wasn’t something I wanted to hear. ‘Bess called and she and Shari are going out.
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