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The American woman said “Have you ever had a hug?”The man said “No,” so she gave him a hug and walked on.The Kiwi woman said, “Have you ever had a kiss?”The man said, “No,” so she gave him a kiss and walked on.The Australian woman came to him and said, “Have you ever been fucked?”The man broke into a big smile and said, “No.”She said, “You will be when the tide comes in.”A nurse walks into a room and sees a patient pretending he’s driving a truck, with his hands at 10 to 2.The nurse asks him, “Kenny! What are you doing?”Kenny replies, “Can’t talk right now I’m driving to Melbourne!”The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.The next day the nurse enters Kenny’s room just as he stops driving his imaginary truck and she asks, “Well Kenny, how was your trip?”Kenny says, “I’m exhausted, I just got into Melbourne and I need some rest.”“That’s great,” replied the nurse, “I’m glad you had a safe trip.”The nurse leaves Kenny’s room, and then goes across the hall into another. Oh right, that's just me breathing normally again now that I can. We get outside and good God! Humans weren't made for weather this cold! Don opens the boot and I practically throw my bag and the car, open the back door, get in and close the door all in one motion. When I put my jumper on in the plane I should've put a second one on. Everyone piles into the car and Don drives me to my hotel where I'll be spending the next few weeks as he didn't want me sharing a bed with his daughter, which is fine. I don't mind having someone clean and make my bed for me anyway. The car pulls up and I undo my seatbelt, and my surprise, Melissa undoes hers, I've only got 1 big bag and a back pack. She's not going to take my big bag, and I'll have my backpack on my back. What's she doing? "See you in a few hours daddy," she says as she climbs out of the car. Wait... what? Is she coming to my hotel room with me? I WAS tired and horribly jet lagged, but I'm wide awake now. I take my bag out of the boot.
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