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I like to say I was 29 and holding, because I was still short of 35. I got the Vault suit I’m wearing when I went into Vault 111 just as the first bombs were falling, then spent the next 210 years in cryogenic suspension. And I met my late husband in Alaska, fighting the Chinese. So, yeah, I knew the world before the war.”“It’s a good thing for you that you didn’t have to live through the period after, like I did. Yeah, you’re right about my age. I was bitter, old woman then, sweetie. My husband got killed in the war against the Reds a few years before the bombs fell. They wouldn’t even tell me where he died. Classified information and all that. Well, you don’t want to see an old woman cry, so what can I get for you?”“Anti-radiation chems. We’ve quite a bit of things to trade for them.”Daisy and I bartered back and forth for a few minutes. When we were done, I said, “Daisy, I have to know. What did you do before the war?”“I was an angry young woman then. Thought the world was sick. “You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?” My wife asked incredulously. “I’ll take the special.”“How do you want your eggs?”“Raw and in the shell,” my wife replied. She took the two eggs home.DON’T MESS WITH SENIORS...A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee.At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store. Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then quite firmly. After a few seconds.
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