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The result of all this was a hard headed woman of 22 with little self respect, a strong determination and a chip on her shoulder a mile wide. She had grown to love pain, including self harm, feeling that she needed to be punished heavily, though for what she really had no definite idea. She had avoided d**gs or alcohol abuse, having seen others go down that road she felt that way led to a woman not being in control, and she very much needed to be “in control” especially of her own punishment and ultimate demise. She in short wished to be used and ultimately to commit suicide, but not just to end her life in some pill taking or a jump from a cliff. She wanted more, she planned to make both money and a statement, to die in such a way that she could leave something not for her-self but for her son as she felt it was all she could do for him, distanced as she was from contact, she also wanted to help the plight of other youngsters in care. That was why she was here today in Mike. “Let’s have lunch somewhere” I suggested “there’s a pub. Will that do?” She said yes and we went inside. It had been quite warm outside but inside they had the air conditioning turned up. Her nipples reacted immediately. I smiled as we sat down. The poor waiter couldn’t take his eyes off Cathy’s boobs, even when he took our order. After he left she whispered “he is ogling me honey”. “I know” I said “I told you that you looked sexy. Every guy in here is staring. Does it turn you on? Being peeved at?” She smiled and squeezed my leg. We got back to the hotel and she was so turned on. “Fuck me Neil” she whispered as soon as we reached the room. What could I do? I had to please my horny wife. I started to rub her pussy but she was adamant. “Don’t mess about. Hurry up and fuck me”. She moaned, she groaned and she clung to me as I did my best to give her what she wanted. Afterwards I asked what had got her so excited. I knew the answer of course. “Those guys were looked at me. I could see.
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