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And now, at the grand old age of forty-nine I was being given a second wonderful go at the whole father thing.That was the upside, but as I sat enjoying the Park’s restorative powers, my mind was more occupied with all the difficulties and challenges ahead.How would Sue feel as the months passed, as she was forced to look at Grace’s swelling tummy? Swollen with my child, a child Sue might have felt by rights should have been in her tummy. The second child I’d failed to give her.And what about the practical questions. Would Grace be expecting me to step up and make the relationship between us both more permanent and more exclusive? How would that impact things between Sue and me? Through all of our thinking and talking, Sue and I had both been determined to keep our relationship and marriage as the centerpiece in our life. All the games we played with Francis and Grace just an exciting side order, but not the main meal.The ten days I’d just spent apart from Sue and, my panicked. He had nevertaken care of himself before but it was a good feeling to be doing it -however silly it was to be doing women's things.But it made him think about what Ann's nanna had said. He needed to thinkof himself as a woman if he was going to act like one. He still wasn'tsure he really wanted to act like a lady but he had given his word toLady Ann that he would do his best.With this in mind he went and stood in front of a looking glass andstared into his beautiful eyes, looking up and down at the beautifulwoman he now was."Well I guess for now," he said, "I am who I am." He decided to tellhimself who he now was, so he could set it in his mind - so he couldreally think of himself as a lady."I am Lady Ann Neville. I'm a beautiful well-bred woman and I always havebeen. I am the eldest daughter of the Earl Neville and have lived in themanor since I was a little girl."It felt odd to say that but it also seemed to help make her feel morecomfortable; more at ease in that body."I'm Lady.
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