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I shoved my wet fingers into Billy's mouth and told him to suck.Here he was, kneeling in panties and stockings, sucking my fingers off.What a slut, I smiled. And I am about to fuck his friend in the next room.I had special plans for Billy this time. It came over me quickly, and the urge was hotter than the caressing I had received from Rick. I peeled off my wet panties and dangled them briefly before Billy as I reached into my utility drawer, fumbling past scissors until I found a roll of silver duct tape.Billy watched me carefully, eying the panties, the duct tape, and me. The red teddy was tossed onto the bed so I could have two free hands, and as I trussed up Billy I reminded him of our pact. That he was my slave. That he was my panty slut to be used.I put my soaked panties over Billy's head and wrapped duct tape around his chin and face to make sure they were secure, the wet crotch right over his nose and mouth. He moaned and struggled, but a warning knee to the balls shut him up. And the weird thing is, I don't really mind. I don't want to rush into this.But I'm not sure why that is. I keep telling myself, "You can't fall in love with your rebound." Right? My wife' barely been dead seven months. It's just a rebound ... right?Part of me wishes I could talk to Tim, or even Samantha. They'd have great advice for this situation. But I can't go back to that life. It's not that going back would be painful. It's ... fuck! It really is that I feel like I've been lying to Alexis. I've been extremely careful not to lie to her, but by omission, I've lied. And I'm just afraid of the guilt. And that guilt is holding me back from pushing her more physically too. So we're stuck at this physical/emotional barrier. And it's all my fault.And once I figured that out a few days ago, I know she noticed. I'm a bit withdrawn, and she can tell something's up. The guilt is good for one thing—I've thrown myself into fixing her house and helping her and Cat set up this baseball card.
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