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Finally in my senior year I got the balls up to ask her to the big December Holiday dance. The formal part of the date went so well she wanted to show me her uncle’s mountain cabin. He didn’t use it anymore since his back went out. It was your basic man cave set up complete with a fireplace, a bear rug and a big ass deer mounted on the wall. We rounded the living room but instead of heading upstairs we scooted back outside to a shed. ‘There’s something I want to show you out here,’ explained Gail. Before I could say anything Gail was stripping off all her clothes. With her nylons off along with everything else she started jumping up and down on this old mattress. ‘Here!’ she called. ‘Come closer so you can see.’ (‘I’m seeing plenty now honey, really!’) In the dim light of light of the shed I watched as Gail took something out from an old wooden box. There were what appeared to be five black metallic spikes protruding out from the box. ‘These,’ she announced, ‘Are my implements of. You're right. How do I handle it though? It was chaos, so surely the only answer would be for me to do a lot of very loud and very rude screaming, to tell them all to get lost?" That'd be one approach, but not ideal if you don't want people to think poorly of you. I've got some better ideas, but let's talk about it tonight, after I've had some time to research it." Huh. How could you possibly research that crap?" The same way I research almost every other problem serving you brings up - I google it initially, and sometimes ask Mom later. This problem is one every famous person has, which is surely common enough to have material available online. It's probably even common enough to have had psychological studies done on it. I'll research it while you're at Katelin's house, and tell you what I find later." Ahh, thanks." All part of the service. What did you think of the Ducklings?" I thought they were pretty silly, actually. I think Donna did a superb job of telling them what they had.
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