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Nonetheless this unknown part of her,arguably the most important part of her, seemed, in retrospect, as if itmust have been working invisibly behind-the scenes to bring her to whereshe was today. It didn't just happen all by chance; it seemed, instead,more an act of fate.Even the act of putting the ad on the computer which led to that first guycoming to her apartment for sex, Ben, his name was, even doing somethingas defined as that, had happened in a kind of sleepwalk. Her actionsseemed to be directed by some remote intelligence that knew what sheneeded better than she did herself. She could never have consciously donesomething as potentially dangerous as that herself.What an odd way to live a life, Marcia thought. She wondered if otherpeople didn't also live at least some part of their lives in a similarfashion, with or without realizing it. Perhaps the difference was that, inretrospect, they took more credit (or blame)--rightly or wrongly--fortheir actions, reluctant to admit just. His inability to talk and negotiate with clients prevented him from climbing the surveyor's ladder. He was stuck with doing practical routine survey work and writing up planning applications.Several times I tried to get him a little more interested in me personally but even after managing a long kiss under the mistletoe I could never even get a cuddle out of him and I was almost resigned to our lives never getting together. I liked him, I liked him a lot but I began to see that we would always be just good friends and not lovers. Some of the gossip concerning what I had supposedly done to Roderick may not have helped and I sensed he was a little more circumspect with me afterwards. However, I enjoyed his company and our hours together in the workshop. He may not have had the wide knowledge of Uncle Joe, but he showed a lot of ingenuity and was prepared to experiment with techniques. I liked that in him.Winter in the building industry is often a stop/start time according to the.
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