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When we finished I carefully labeled the disks and put them in cases. Then we went downstairs and watched a movie.As it turns out, Tawney wasn't allowed to see many movies either. I let her pick one and we got comfortable on the couch. I sat on one end with my feet up on the coffee table and she cuddled up in my arms.I knew that it was worse for her. But to some degree we both suffered from the same thing. We were both starved for affection. But she has suffered from it for her entire life. I can't even imagine what it must be like to grow up without love. I can make it up to her, up to a point. But she still needs a woman in her life, a good woman to guide her and advise her.Tawney isn't alone in that respect. I still need a woman in my life. It's wonderful having this fantastic young girl to love and spoil. But I also need a woman in my life. I need romance. I need an adult relationship.I tried not to dwell on it. But I couldn't help being nervous when I thought about it. I didn't. I knew that if I asked for another show, or if I tried to advance her along, I stood a good chance of her pulling back. I'm not sure when, but somehow I had developed an innate sense of how far I could push her.So I left well enough alone. In my journal entries I flattered the hell out of her. I figured she was probably regretting her boldness, and I needed to repaint her memory of the event with what I wanted her to remember. Say something enough times, and it will eventually become the truth. So I went into great detail of how much I enjoyed the show and how I was surprised by how much Nicole had matured in mind and body. On and on I went in an effort to overwrite any other feeling she might have had about letting me see her breasts. In short, were you to read my entries, you would have though the sun rose and set under her shirt.Eventually, after about ten day of feeding her a steady diet of how wonderful the experience was for both of us, I felt the time was right to prod Nicole.
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