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There was a big bar with three bartenders serving drinks to a lot of people. Kenny came over and said, "Here, have a bottle of iced tea and come over and sign some autographs after you eat. We're going to be at it awhile, so if you're hungry, grab some of that delicious cheese or have some of the great sausage meatballs. There's calamari, all kinds of pasta, some veal, and some interesting little pieces of smoked beef that are really good. Eat up, my man; you're going to need the energy."Kenny hugged Lisa, "How are you doing, Cutie. You're lookin' as foxy as the other three women. You ready to put on a show?"Lisa grinned and I knew we were going to be alright.After eating, we went to a corner of the room where there was a table with posters and a group picture, including Lisa and me that was taken from the video we had done. Lisa and I began signing our names to just about anything. A couple of cute young girls wanted us to sign their white vests that already had a lot of signatures. I said, ‘Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.My wife is such a bad cook. In my house we pray after the meal.My wife likes to talk to me during sex; last night she called me from a hotel.It’s been a rough day. I got up this morning and put a shirt on and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.I was such an ugly kid! When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio.I.
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