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Everything OK?" his mother asked cheerfully."Sure, mom. everything's fine." Did you get the surprise I left for you?" Uh, you mean the uh, the stuff under my pillow." That's right, dear. The K-Y jelly and the envelope with the picture andthe note.? Oh yeah, and my bra?" Yeah, mom. I got it all." Did you do away with the note, I hope, like I said?" Norma inquired."Yes, ma'am, I did."Sensing that maybe something wasn't quite right Norma asked, "Are you byyourself, Bobby? You sound strange." Yeah, mom. There's nobody here but me." Did you lock all the doors after you came in? Are you sure you're OK?" All the doors are locked. I guess I sound strange because I'm reallynervous, mom." I understand son. Tell me, are you naked right now? If not, I'd likeyou to get totally undressed, OK?" I'm already undressed. I was going to put on my PJs when I found thestuff." Uh huh. Are you hard, Bobby? Is your penis good and hard?"The question took him by surprise following so closely on the heels ofthe. By the time he’s finished we’ve eaten the pizzas. She’s a good root, and I think the pizza guys look forward to rooting her, they keep coming back. We had just finished the two party sized meat lovers when some cunt kicked down the front door. It was Johnny Rahuti, the big black Maori cunt from across the road. ‘What the fuck, can’t you knock on the door like a proper cunt?’ I yelled at him. You had to yell ’cause he used to be a Roadie for a thrash band and his hearin’s shit. ‘I did knock, how the fuck did I know that the fucking door would fall off?’ ‘Bazza, youse was s’posed to fix that fuckin’ door, wot ‘appened?’ I asked him. ‘I was rootin’ Shazza.’ He seemed to think that was an okay excuse. ‘What the fuck you want now?’ I shouted at Johnny. ‘No need to fuckin’ shout, I can hear, I ain’t fuckin’ deaf. I need to borrow your wheels, mine fuckin’ won’t start.’ ‘It didn’t sound too flash when you got home last night.’ ‘No fuckin’ shit, it was boilin’ its fuckin’ head off, I think I.
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