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When I say soul I don't mean soul in the religious sense. I don't think that kind of soul exists. I don't mean soul in the way a poet or musician does either, although I do believe that kind of soul actually does exist. No, what I mean by soul is the place deep down inside myself where the tiny, unquenchable little flame that is the core of my existence resides. My will, my power ... my self.In my soul I knew what had happened. I could feel it in my blood and bones. I could feel it in each one of my children. I should have realized sooner. The clues had been right there in front of me.I should have seen this coming.Izzy'd had chicken pox when she was eight and mono at eleven. Ivan came down with mumps at nine, measles when he was fifteen. My father got the flu once a year like clockwork. My mother constantly had colds and eventually died of cancer.I'd been a pale, weak and skinny kid, but I'd never been sick a day in my life. Injuries ... yeah, there'd been a few of those, but always. I was trying not to hyperventilate. ‘No, not married or tied down. No steady girlfriend right now.’ I wanted to ask her about her husband, but she moved right along. ‘How is your family?’ She continued talking like we were old friends that hadn’t broken up under terrible circumstances. It had been six years and she may have moved on, but I was still under some spell from the damn woman. Her eyes still riveted me. ‘Everyone is doing well. Parents are still healthy and the siblings are great. How about you?’ I managed to remain calm on the outside, but inside my heart was hammering. Her sister walked up at that point. ‘You remember Diane, right? She works with me here in the mall.’ ‘Hi, Dennis.’ I could have gotten frostbite from her piercing glare. ‘Good to see you Diane. What do you two do in the mall?’ ‘We both work at the travel agency at the end of the mall, near the western entrance.’ ‘Oh, right. I seem to remember that was your mother’s travel agency.’ ‘Yes, well, she wanted to.
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