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My timing and precision is on point. I continue to sing fairly effortlessly, and the difficult bridge is coming up. I tackle it head on as I've done many times before. I watch myself closely in the mirror again, regarding the flex of my abs as I feel their muscles contract. I feel the various parts of my body—my diaphragm, my lungs, my larynx, and my lips—all working together in perfect synchrony to control and maintain the pitch, tone, timbre, depth, and fluidity of my voice. I feel the power in my voice as I sing at the top of my lungs, feeling the waves reverberate within me and escape my lips. I'm so in my element right now, completely in my zone. Nothing beats the feeling I get when I sing like this. Nothing gets me on such a high or gives me such an overwhelming sense of freedom— Abruptly, I feel myself lurch forward unnaturally and my voice cracks. I feel the warm air forced from my lungs in a strained rush as it escapes my flared nostrils. My chest tightens in response.. . I understand."What could she possibly understand - she was twenty five years older than I for gods sake?Slowly and calmly I lifted my enclosed hand from my exposed groin, not daring to move my bottoms back to my waist else mother would hear me. It left me exposed to the nights darkness, but I guessed it the lesser of evils. There was no way mother could see a thing - it was pitch black in the little room.The seconds turned into minutes, and in that black void it seemed to take forever. I could hear moms breathing, sounding loud in the darkness, could even feel her breath tickling my cheek as she lay facing me on the pillow next to my own.Sharing an air mattress with your middle-aged mother, on the floor of your sister and brother-in-law's empty spare bedroom, was awkward enough. Having been caught with my hand in the proverbial cookie jar was downright humiliating."Are you done for the night honey?" Matter a factly stated."Jeez mom!" I was thankful for the dark, if only because I.
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