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Part of me saying what the hell is going on with me? Am I losing my mind? The other part saying my god what a wonderful feeling, not caring that in my dream I had cheated on my husband. I looked at the bedside clock radio, it said 4-22am. I laid there staring at the ceiling until it was time to get up. It had been so real, was it a dream? Or? No, that was impossible, I had locked all the windows, besides, I would surely know if I had been fucked, wouldn't I? Could it happen and I wouldn't even know it if I were in a deep sleep? Could someone be putting something in my food or drink? John surely wouldn't do that, he was Alan's best friend, wasn't he?I called into work telling them I had stomach cramps and wouldn't be coming in. I maybe should have went in to work, if for no other reason to get out of the house. God I wanted Alan to be home. Why had he just stood and watched? Does he really want to watch me with another man? or is it me that wants him to watch me fuck his friend John?. I know what I am." And what's that?" she said, folding her arms and sitting down on the bed, the whimsical gone."Well," I said, flustered, "this." And I gestured to my face."Thomas, what you are is a sensitive man, who's had, frankly, a pretty shitty life, been crapped on from high places – sometimes literally – and one who needs a break. I see someone I like. Someone who saved my life. Someone I can relax with, and have a good time. Someone I have spent several really nice, fun, great days with. You are too damned hard on yourself."She stood up, moved forward and put a hand on my chest and said, looking up at me, "Thomas, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to. This is not work."I didn't totally get her last sentence, but frankly, I was too far-gone anyway. As I looked down into her eyes, I knew what heaven was. To be desired by this angelic creature, well, it wouldn't get any better than that.And then she kissed me, again. And it was, if possible, even better than last time..
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