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My mother raised me fearless, my father raised me fearful of everything, most of all him. ‘You asked who I was talking to at the restaurant in Rome. Who made me . . . act the way I did. It was my father.’ Leo doesn’t look at me, and I wonder if that’s more for my sake than his. If I focus on the mirror I can see my face, but I don’t look. He doesn’t press me further, and his quiet is what allows me to speak. I don’t count words with Leo. ‘He’s an abusive asshole who thinks women are gifts from God to serve men. I think my mother put up with it for as long as she did because she thought he really loved her. I think he must have, in his own way. But she left him, and all that bitterness and warped sense of a woman’s place in the world transfered to me. I was—am never good enough for him. And he was just reminding me of that. ‘He threatened to send me back to Morocco to work as basically a slave for his family. Then he called me a whore, and said if I sleep with someone abroad I’m. We had frequent long phone conversations in the evenings after homework. I have no idea what we managed to talk about for all that time, but we were happy, so I guess that's all that matters.She was in the band so we couldn't go to football games together, but we went out for snacks afterward. Sometimes we found a place to park for a while before going home. She had wonderful lips and kissing her made me melt inside. I never got to kiss her enough; I don't think it would have been possible to kiss her enough. Unfortunately, she had a strict curfew, and the duration of our evening activities was pretty tightly regulated.The big dating movie at the time was "Love Story," I guess today it would be called a "chick flick." Talk about a great movie to bring a girl to! It had love, it had sex, it had conflict, and to top it off, it was a tragedy. Ryan O'Neil and Ali McGraw were beautiful together. With Jennifer dying at the end a guy was pretty much guaranteed to have his date crying on his.
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