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- You're ready to begin a new adventure? a new journey in pain?hang. like animals to the slaughterhouse. this was my vision. Technically if I wanted to slaughter a pig as I hung by the feet, head down. but I had other plans in mind for him. I fall from the ceiling with two rings, leather bracelets. them to him and then tie around the wrists aziono the lifting mechanism. that is still asleep. the usual injection of sleeping pills is an increasing effect. I think I must be careful with the dose or risk to kill him. expected to catch. lethal injection. However now it is waking up. is hung by his wrists. feet four inches from the floor. completely hangs suspended from the ground. I take a big gap and go up to him.- Time to be naked.the cut off t-shirt. is now completely naked. her chest is completely smooth like the rest of the body. single hair. even under the armpits. I stop to watch him. is truly a beautiful specimen. a perfect body. not even a little fat around the waist. a flat. And even though I tried to tell me otherwise, I knew that I haveto transition. That it was my only option to get out of that miserableemotional state.I traveled. Every year. Sometimes several times. It helped me to getmy mind away from being trans. Looking forward to going somewhere elseand especially being somewhere else was making me happy. While away Iwasn't feeling sad all the time. I enjoyed life then. For real. Itwasn't just a lie I tried to tell myself.In 2012 I made a decision. Knowing that I have to transition but notfeeling able to do it at home. Why not somewhere else? Germany is big.The world is even bigger I talked to my superior and she promised tohelp me find something somewhere else. Without telling the realreason.In early 2013 the opportunity knocked on the door. I flew to Viennafor an interview. And accomplished that mission. I started on thefirst of June. I felt excited. There is the possibility to finally bewho I am and yet, I tried to convince it'll be okay not.
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