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So what can I say?I’m a little proud of myself. Last night at the dinner, I intentionally set with my back to the rest of the diners when I could have set with my back to a wall. I stood there for several moments and made a conscious choice to trust. I didn’t know about half the people there. To most of you that is no big thing. I get that. To someone who has spent their life paranoid with decent reasons for their paranoia it’s a little bit of something. Will I make a habit of it? I don’t know. It’ll be a case by case basis. I did it that time though.What are my plans for the new year? Damned if I know. I’m going to relearn to meditate. Work on being more present when I’m with people. Spend time with a shrink if I can afford it. Find out what Darian is really like. See, in August of 2017, I became a new person. My neurological structure changed. Yet, almost the entire time since then I have been in pain. It’s only the last few weeks that I’ve had any idea what it’s like as this new. I had on crotch-less panties so she has easy access to my pleasure zone. I began my tongue lashing on her again making it hard for her to concentrate on my dripping wet cunt in her face. I sucked her pussy over and over and over trying to squeeze out all of the juices that it had to offer me. I was drinking her down. She was bucking as she began to orgasm. I took my whip and hit her 6 times for not telling me that she was close although I knew that she was almost there. She apologized, I took out a vibrator and held it down on her clit, she began another orgasm, she begged me to stop but I wouldn’t I held it there until she had tears coming down her face. I wanted her to feel pleasure that she had never experienced before. She was always used to giving pleasure to others but very rarely on the receiving end and this night was just as much for her as it was for me. I was only returning the favor for her fulfilling my fantasy. I unhooked her other hand and I just laid there next to.
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