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“Okay?” she asked expectantly.“I think it’s stupid.” I grumbled. “So what, you’re going to live the rest of your life without friends?”“No, stupid.” she replied, a little annoyed at this point. “But ... give me time. I can’t expect you to understand what I’m going through, but that’s okay.”“I could if you explained it!” I argued.“I just did.” she huffed. “Who’s your best friend in the whole world?”“You.” I replied without hesitation.“Really?!” she laughed. “Wow. that’s sad. Okay, so if you lost me, how would you feel?”“I’d feel-”“Nope.” She shook her head.“What?!”“You didn’t even think about it.” she answered simply. “It’s so much different than what you think it’s like. You can’t give me a good answer just like that.”Frankly, I didn’t agree with her, but I was willing to let her have her way, because God knows she wasn’t going to have it any other way. “Okay, I’ve got it.” I meekly conceded.She gave me a big smile in thanks. “I appreciate it, squirt.” she told me softly, moving her. Well, I didn't know what I was for a couple of years, I just knew that I got a hot flush when I looked at other girls in the school changing rooms after swimming, and that I liked frigging myself off to the pictures of nude women in the dirty magazines my holier-than-thou father thought he'd hidden at the back of his wardrobe. Even though I knew I liked women, it was years before I did anything about it: there isn't really much of a gay scene in a small, stifling town in the middle of nowhere, and even though the nearest big city, Plymouth, was an easy trip by train, it seemed miles away when I was 15. So, like most of the other girls I knew, I lost my virginity to a boy the same age as me one night in the bus station, which just convinced me even more that I wasn't attracted to the male sex. I tried a few more, just to be sure, and to relieve the boredom of the place, but basically I couldn't wait to get away to university in London when I was 18. Once I got there, it took me two.
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