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I secretly borrowed clothes from my sister for the next 14-16 years, thesewere worn as often as possible, often under my regular boy clothes. I knewI should not feel bad about my desire to be a girl, this wasn't a choiceor something I had asked for, it was just the way I was. I challenged mymum with this info, as in, it can't just be me - I was somehow aware thatthis sort of thing might be genetic!At around age 15, I had developed a routine of going out at night for awalk, as a girl, not in drag. I was spotted and reported to the police bythe milkman's delivery boys - they had seen me climbing through the windowof my parents home (the quietest way of getting in and out). The policewere called and my parents made their excuses.The situation was brought to a head.I was sent to a child therapist who through a series of 4 or 5 sessionsand one family session determined that I was jealous of my sister - shewas the eldest and never had to make do with hand me downs. Of course Iwas jealous of. "And I want to yell at you and hit you and scream 'don't you ever leave us again.' But I won't do any of that. I know you hurt and all I can say is that I do love you and we all want you back with us." We got everything loaded and Donna drove my car. Rhonda and I sat in the front seat next to her for a while and dozed. Then we stopped and moved her to the bed in back where she slept most of the way back north. The rest of the cars were a long, triumphal caravan.Nothing is as easy as it is. I think that's one of Murphy's many laws. Certainly, the transition to having Rhonda living with us and back as part of our group wasn't easy on any of us. I wanted—we all wanted—everything to be like it used to be. But it wasn't.Rhonda had terrible nightmares the first week we were back. I can't blame her. I had a few myself. The drug cocktail worked wonders for the pain, but did weird things to your head. I only used the painkillers at night and just suffered with the side pain and the itching,.
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