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That was when I broke it off. Even that was a new experience. And, it was a new learning experience about myself. I could make these kinds of decisions for myself, if I needed to. That was a relief for me to realize. Even if I was prone to taking direction and being compliant in a relationship, if I needed to for my well-being, I was capable of separating myself. That was the beginning of a realization of what being submissive, obedient, and compliant meant for me. Despite those tendencies, it was still ultimately my giving another person power over me that would keep me in that mode. If the situation wasn’t good, beneficial, and fruitful, it was within my power to take back control. In a way, that realization allowed me to become more comfortable with new relationships.One thing that made all the difference going forward for me was developing a trusting relationship with the bar manager. My performance in my job and the way customers responded to me, gave him an initial incentive to. Sure enough, the time finally rolls around. I split off from my friend, whom I usually walk home with, telling him I've got stuff to do and that I wouldn't be able to come out for a while. Steven had to walk home in a different direction. Within a few minutes I'm at home, and I change into my generic casual clothes, eagerly awaiting a chap at the door. I glanced at the clock on the living room wall. 3:25... hurry up man! I pleaded to thin air. I sat there and watched some stupid shitty cartoon, not really paying much attention, when finally the door knocks. I leap up and bound over to the door like a daft dog running to greet its owner. I open the door and Steven is standing there with an eager grin. "Come in!" I said, restraining myself from simply dragging him by his jacket and throwing him in. He had changed into his casual wear too, wasting valuable seconds I thought to myself with bemused irritation. I closed the door and after he kicked off his shoes at the door, as per custom,.
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