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” Her smiled disappeared immediately. “So you aren’t going to have sex with me ever?” “No Lucy” I told her. “I’d love to in lots of different situations but no, I’m not going to.” She broke down and cried. She really did. She fell to the bed and tears rolled down her cheeks. I sat down with her. She looked at me. I told her something. “The right day will come Lucy and when it does you will be happy as ever. Meanwhile do something for me.” She asked what. “Use these fingers, put them down her, and do yourself all the time. Get a vibrator and do yourself. Have the guy you meet us a condom too. You’re too young and way too pretty to be getting pregnant right now. One last thing alright” I went on to say. “I’d do you in a heartbeat but I have children and a wife I love. Nothing’s ever going to change that.” She sat there beside me and got depressed. Nether of us said a word as I looked at her. She looked at me and then she smiled. “What?” I asked. All she did was keep on smiling. “What?”. I just spent my first Christmas as a bachelor and I absolutely hated it. If I had a penny for every time I've second-guessed myself for going ahead with the divorce, I'd never have to work again for the rest of my life.I know Diane would love to have me come back. When I picked up my daughters, Amy and Marsha, on Christmas morning they told me they could hear their mother quietly crying in her bedroom the night before. It was the first Christmas Eve since we met, that we were not together. I didn't tell the kids but she wasn't the only one crying that night.What's even worse is what my daughters are going through. Don't get me wrong, they've both been brave little troopers, but I know inside their hurting. They would normally be screaming and jumping all over the place on Christmas morning as they opened their presents, but not his year. This year they smiled and thank me with their kisses, but I could read their thoughts, see it in their eyes, the only Christmas present they wanted.
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