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I wanted to be around males as much as possible. I was a Boy Scout for several years and I loved to go on camping trips where I might see my fellow Scouts swimming naked. I wanted nothing more than to suck all their cocks, but I was too afraid to initiate anything.I have lived as a straight man all my life with many girlfriends, several wives and stepchildren, but if I had the nerve, I would have preferred to live the "queer life." I was sexual with all these women and I was a good lover, but I always had a yen for men. More than once I had to use the fantasy of sex with a man to get off with my female lovers.I started exploring my homosexuality when I was thirty-five. I would go to my favorite adult theater, "The Paradise," to watch gay porn and have sex. The Paradise is two theaters in one; a straight theater and a gay theater. Most of the patrons start in the straight theater, but within minutes they migrate to the gay theater. This is where I got all my illicit sex.One night I. "You know who else needs to lighten up? You." Christa did not raise her voice. It wasn't necessary. "You're always so sure everything's going to be a disaster. When are you going to calm down and live for a change?"Sajel said nothing."Now, come on," said Christa. She took Sajel's elbow. "The bell's going to ring soon. We'd better get to class."Sajel allowed herself to be ushered away, her mind awhirl, and only noticed after they sat down that Garrett had not been sitting in the classroom when they arrived but had, in fact, followed them in, and that he might have actually heard everything that was said in that tiny room.Christa, heading to the classroom next door, also saw. She figured that Garrett must've simply gone off somewhere else—say, to the bathroom—because Dr. Zelvetti had stuck her head into the conversation, and if Garrett had been there, lurking outside, Dr. Z. would have almost certainly said something. But it was better to be safe than sorry. So after class ended, she.
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