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She reached behind her and pulled a packet of cigarettes and an ashtray out of a drawer and put them on the breakfast bar beside me. ‘Light me a fag, and don’t you dare move off of that bloody stool, Honey!’ She manoeuvred herself to the door into the hall, the way she was weaving I guessed that she was fairly well pissed already, maybe she had started drinking before going shopping? I heard the lavatory flush and when she returned she had removed her leggings, and her long top looked like a mini dress, she looked really tasty and inviting, the hem was just long enough to be a tease, I really couldn’t tell if she was wearing anything beneath. I handed her the lit cigarette and she leaned back against the cupboard again taking long deep drafts of smoke and exhaling with a husky sigh. We both sat silently until we had finished our smokes, and I decided that something had to happen one way or the other. I knew that I should leave and get back to my work, but she was totally tempting. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.And the winners are:1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.6. Negligent, adj. Absent mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up.
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