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I finally got to the point where I was afraid I'd miss her again and pulled my roommate aside to invoke the wingman protocol. Before I could get a word out he started, "you have got to talk to that girl! Every time you come up it's like I'm not there and when you leave she asks tons of questions." I closed my gaping mouth and socked him in the shoulder.Near the end of the evening, there was a "final" from the class that involved everyone looking at and discussing their final compositions. I had already spooked a couple of girls with card reading and hypno-parlor tricks so when I pulled out the nude self portrait figure drawing, with all of its dark images surrounding my glaring form; a lot of hushed discussion of the symbolism was going around the room. "Jessica" piped up and said, "I think he doesn't buy any of that junk and he placed those images there just to invoke this conversation." She had me dead to rights and I smiled at her and she smirked back with a twitch of her. It had been a while since she started to suspect that she had made a colossal error in judgment by leaving Oliver. Part of it was the emptiness she felt without him, the other part was how wrong she’d been about Paul. She could see now that what she had felt for Paul wasn’t love, it was infatuation. The authority he held had blinded her. She respected him as a doctor and she had been excited by the way a sea of people seemed to part for him at the hospital. She knew now that people didn’t get out of his way out of respect, they did it out of fear. He was a bad-tempered old asshole. The self-confidence that had attracted her to him turned out to be arrogance. He had an unwillingness to compromise in any situation, ever. She realized now that the reassurance Oliver so often asked of her wasn’t a sign of weakness so much as it was him giving her an opportunity to influence his decisions. God she missed him. She used the back of her pajama sleeve to wipe her eyes. She was going to.
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