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”i was very nervous and shyly said, “i’m really confused about yesterday. i don’t understand what happened.” i opened my mouth, but it was hard to get the words out. Eventually, i said, angrily, “i’m NOT gay… i know i’m not.”He said, “Take it easy Terry, we’re just talking.”He waited a minute, then said, “I hear what you are saying, but why do you say you can’t be gay? Why do you say that so vehemently?”i couldn’t answer.“Let me ask you this, have you been with girls before?”“Yes.” i told him i fooled around with a girl a few times the past summer.He said, “Okay. Why don’t you tell me what you did with her?”“We kissed and i fingered her and she gave me a blowjob.”“Did you enjoy it.”“Yes. It was great.”“Okay. So you didn’t actually have intercourse with her?”“No.”“Okay. Let me ask you about yesterday, okay? I’m just trying to help you understand what happened and maybe why. Why do you think you didn’t stop what we were doing? Do you have any idea?”A few minutes passed, but i didn’t. Being raped; it sounds bad, but just how bad could it be? I mean, everybody likes sex, or at least they talk like they do, and isn't that just another kind of sex? But I had to admit that it's probably a pretty nasty way for a girl to lose her virginity. Then there's the whole violence thing. The guy that attacked Alicia forced her to do what he wanted by holding a knife to her throat. She could have easily been killed if she had fought back, or if homicide was part of the thrill for him. I had tried to picture myself being accosted like that, and wondering how hard I would resist. Would it be worth endangering my life just to prevent a guy from sticking his thing in me? I wasn't sure. Not that I really wanted to be raped of course, but thinking about it added some adventure and excitement into my otherwise dull life.After the attack, the county commission wanted to close the park at night, but when they realized that would mean putting a fence all the way around it, they backed off..
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