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. when I ... when I betrayed and hurt you ... that there was no other woman." God I am such a fool. I couldn't bear it ... to lose you again ... not now ... not after finding you again. I love you so much Matt. I've never stopped loving you."She sobbed into my shoulder the rest of the trip down to the garage.The cold air of the garage swept over us as we left the elevator.She gripped my arm as we walked into the garage. She stopped and looked at me - arms around my waist, afraid of letting go."Matt ... I thought once you got my letter ... once you ... I thought you would realize how sorry I was and that I still loved you and always would."I paused, collecting my thoughts."Jessica, I want to tell you about when I got your letter.She looked at me, waiting."I was on a windswept godforsaken ridge in Afghanistan when I first read your letter. I was exhausted and probably in the early stages of pneumonia."I paused seeing I had her attention."Just a few days before that I had come back to my. He shouldn’t have been. After all, he certainly had the upper hand here.“He told me that you wanted to watch while he and I had sex...”Brian didn’t say anything. He sat there looking at me.“ ... Said that you wanted to hide in the closet and take pictures.”Brian got red in the face.“He even told me that you wished you could have sex with me as well; said you dreamed about it a lot.”Brian didn’t know what to say to that.“And ... and you believed him?” He stuttered.“Well, after hearing you guys talking and seeing the pictures that you had of me on your computer, you tell me. Should I believe him?”He didn’t answer.“Well, is it true?” I pushed.“Is what true?”“What he said: you wishing something like that, dreaming about it? Is it true.” I asked.The words made my stomach sink. I never imagined that that was a question I’d ever be asking either of my sons. I was hoping to show him that I wasn’t the only one that had something to hide here.The silence and the look on his face said it.
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