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I don’t know what to do. I like him, he is a nice guy. But he loves me, or thinks he loves me. If I break it off with him he will be crushed, if I tell him I don’t love him he will be crushed. If I just don’t address the issue, just avoid talking about it, then I won’t have to break his heart, I don’t think he will let me though. But if I keep stringing this along, if I keep letting him believe that I like him, then it will just hurt him more when I do break it off. He is so cute; he has an innocence that I can’t get past. Maybe I am suppressing some feelings for him. What if I do have feelings for him, but I subconsciously destroy them because I want to be faithful to John. Is that wrong? Is that fair to Jack? But no, no, I don’t love Jack. Is it wrong for me to entertain the idea of loving Jack? Is that being unfaithful to John? It’s hard to know where the lines are drawn in the relationship we have. It isn’t wrong for me to have sex with someone, and its not wrong for him to have. Your face is calm, eyes shut like you are praying and a smirk that says the prayer was answered. I follow your body down, that soft hairy chest, those muscular thighs, even your feet can turn me on.My eyes head upward, noticing your manly excitement, and back up to your smirk. “Hi,” I say as I begin to step into the shower behind you. The hot water doesn’t phase me next to the electric tingle you emanate. You turn to face me, and I lean in for a kiss. Good days always should start with a kiss, at the very least. My lips hit yours and send electric shocks to every inch of my body.You must have felt it too as I hear you mumble, “Fuck...” into my ear.I nod in agreement and can only reply with a "Hmm, hmm."My nipples graze your chest, hard, tingling, absolutely electric; like every chest hair has turned into an electric whip. I pull myself up onto my toes, my hands slick and easily sliding up your arms to your neck. Our mouths connect again and your tongue parts my lips. Our tongues.
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