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Then one of those moments comes along and every minute I spent with her comes back and my heart fills with a burning cold, God, how I miss her! I can hear her laughter everywhere. The way she would say ‘Oh Yeah!’ when she would have the winning hand at a card game, the way she would close her eyes and roll her head back when listening to her music, the way her eyes would shine when she looked at me and the way she would arch her back and catch her breath when I would enter her, and the faraway place she would take me when we made love to each other. She would whisper in my ear ‘I love you’ as we moved together and I knew my life was no longer mine to control! I could sit and stare at her for hours, and she hated it! She was never comfortable with herself and couldn’t understand how I was so intoxicated by her. I loved watching her as she slept. Her hand to her breast, her hair fanned out on the pillow beneath her. Her face so peaceful, looking so much like a little girl with her. And that’s my point. Sometimes it’s weird things that bring you to the right person. You can’t focus on those weird things. That’s like not enjoying a trip to the beach because you drove an ugly car to get there. You’ve got to focus on hanging on to that right person. Hanging on at all costs.’ Looking up at the stars, which were so much more visible out here than in town, I asked him, ‘How does one know when they’ve found the right person? It seems to be such a subjective thing.’ ‘Well,’ he chuckled, ‘for some of us, it’s just finding a woman who seems happy to put up with us once they know all our secrets. Once they’ve seen all our scars and smelled all our bullshit.’ I considered the ways in which Miranda had adapted to my ‘condition.’ The way she was sensitive to the things that bothered me and the way she seemed to be a student of my behavior. ‘But another good sign,’ Andrew continued thoughtfully, ‘is when you find yourself really, really mad at her — like storming out of the.
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