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"Said it was a family matter, and asked where the Keys were staying. When I got the motel, a woman answered, and I said I wanted to talk to the cutest, sexiest ball player she had in residence." And she connected you to my room?" On only the fourth try, yes!" I said, thoroughly enjoying delivering my well-rehearsed punch line. "How's Eddie?" Eddie's good. He's down having a second shot at the Continental Breakfast here. It's better than most." Listen, Dave... You still haven't decided what to do about Eddie's enrollment in school, right?" Well. Bowie seems like the best bet." And when you go to Florida in February? What then?" I guess we'll, y'know, hire somebody in Bowie, to stay with him." Why not move to Arlington?" I said. "For the winter, and after that, too!" Arlington?" Yes! With me! With us -- Patsy, too! I could get a bigger place, maybe a detached house. And Eddie could go to school here, in Arlington! And I could give Patsy a break on her rent, in exchange for helping us. However, even the magic might not be strong enough to overcome a princess, which means you need a little help. For the right price, I'll sell you a guaranteed aphrodisiac guaranteed to stun an elf into submission."Pardin chuckled at the solicitation. "What will this better-than-magic elixir cost me?" A dollop of human sperm, which goblins believe helps them maintain erections," Fuster said. "Goblins need great stamina or else they loose their status in the colony. Goblins pay well for this shit."Pardin took her explanation with disbelief. "How can one little spoonful of seed be enough "love liquor" for a full grown goblin?" If it's any of your business, your jizz jelly is just the active ingredient in the compound and it is less than two percent," Fuster said. "On top of that, your average goblin is an inch shorter than me. The pill is no bigger than a seed of wheat." Oh," Pardin said, wondering where all the stories about goblins ripping out human livers and raping women came from,.
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