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She did know from Ruthann that I was attractedto very feminine women and their adornments, but the evening so far hadrevealed to her that she had dramatically underestimated my"convertibility". This was becoming so much easier than she had thoughtit would be. So, for the moment, she was just going to flow with it andenjoy the sexual pleasure that she was quite sure would materializeshortly down the hallway in her opulent boudoir.Again, I was staring at her face, so attractively mature, and flawlesslymade up to shame any genetic woman into irrelevance. I couldn't believewhat had happened to me, but I was enjoying it. Whatever homophobicdefenses I had once possessed lay in tatters, overwhelmed by the sexualattractiveness of my increasingly adored Auntie Rolanda, and theunexpected allure of the forbidden fruit on her side of the genderdivide. I still was repulsed by the idea of sexual intimacy with a man,but my mind had successfully rationalized being very attracted sexuallyto a. You could call her 'good girl' and thirty seconds later be criticizing her, then another thirty seconds later be telling her 'good girl' again. It seems rather strange. Certainly not the way I'd normally talk with anyone?"Julia agreed, "You're right about her being childlike. I never thought of it that way, but that's a good description: children depend on their parents for approval, and that's what Carol's doing with us. I learned to talk with her that way because I noticed that she reacted instantly to every compliment or critical word I said. Mature people average out a whole conversation, or even several conversations, but Carol reacted instantly to every little expression or opinion about her. I think because she's already emotionally dependent on us. She hangs on our every word, desperate for our approval. -- "I think she's had a low opinion of herself for years, and now she's finally found someone she's willing to depend on. Two someones: you and me. Our opinions are very.
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