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So, I usually do it quickly and rather sloppily. Hey, I get paid regardless. Well, I was doing rounds one day through Conner’s Hall. It sucks because it is six floors and the hall ways are way too long for my liking. But, by far, the worst thing about this building is the “Underground Railroad.” It is what we RAs call the North side of the building: farthest from the entrance, lights are never all working at once, and people rarely use it because it is, frankly, scary as shit. As a member of Residence Life, I am obligated to check it on my rounds. Every now and then I smell questionable things like Mary Jane or that tell-tale stench of Tequila, but I just keep walking. Let them have some fun. My freshman year I did some of the same things. Now that I am a senior I go to bars to drink like a grown-up. Anyway, on this particular night, I decided to actually investigate The Underground Railroad. It was a slow night and I had nothing waiting for me except Netflix and my softest. ”Her grandmother, “You and him, not just you and the shiksa because you’ve always been kind of “ she waved her hand around.Lavi the queen of sexual shock melted under her grandmother’s bluntness. “Yes, yes, Robert and I, plenty of it.”“Good, good. I’m just saying if you want to step away it’s fine, you should keep that spirit alive. It’s how you keep a man happy and healthy. You keep his stomach full and his eggs empty. And, “ she learned forward as if to whisper but didn’t lower her voice at all, “it is a good thing to make sure you get a tickle yourself, you know. It helps with the baby because you open up when you do.” Then she made a motion of her hands opening. Most of the table stared at her. Saul alone seemed immune. Then apparently concerned we didn’t grasp it she added. “Your uterus. It needs to be wide open.” She suddenly had a look of realization on her face as if she had just thought of it. “Oh, that would help!” She pointed at the girls. “There are two of you so one can.
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