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But then she mentioned the baby. Which was a big question. I mean she was an attractive woman, but I didn’t feel any spark between us. We were going through the motions dating in case she was being followed and some of her clothes were kept in my room. Basically she was a lodger. Being 30, she started to tell me she wanted a baby, so she asked why not have one with her husband? So, we went for it. At first it was fairly mechanical but then I started to develop feelings, difficult not to, especially when she fell pregnant almost immediately and we started going to prenatal classes together. Immigration backed off, she said, we had the baby, Maisie was small and premature and we couldn’t get her home at first. Then, within hours of getting home, Leone disappeared, leaving me to bond with Maisie; she came home, I went shopping for essential supplies and when I got back they had both gone.”“You look gorgeous honey, good enough to eat. How’s your new boy taking it, not being able to take. One day, if I could call it that. I saw a speck of something. I knew ithad to be real since there has been no light in ages. I had a new goal.to get to that light. Ten thousand steps and I still see the faintestlight get brighter.I felt more alive the closer I got to it. It was a small campfire. I wasstill bathed in darkness, but that fire felt so warm and inviting. I satright next to it. Lights and shadows were playing tricks on my eyes.As I sat next to the glowing fire, I never noticed how cold thisdarkness was. I forgot how it felt to be cold and what it meant to havefire and light. I started to focus on my body. I guess I do have one.I've been in darkness so long, I could not tell what I looked like.I was smaller. And thinner. I placed my hands over the fire. My fingerswere thin and feminine. I no longer had some scars from my workaccidents. They were smooth and beautiful.There was a warmth in my cheeks as my hands caressed them. I could feelmy own sadness as I touched my.
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